on my neighborhood

I have a love/hate/love relationship with my neighborhood. I loved it when I arrived in Seoul, and then gradually grew to detest many things about it. As 8 months(!) approaches in Seoul and I have a more considered perspective on the city, I am tilting back to the love side in a rather strong way. But my neighborhood is definitely a weird place to live.

What I am calling my neighborhood is basically the area within a 2o minute walk of my

apartment, which is from one subway station to the next. For a variety of reasons, I only walk one way out of my apartment. There are things in the other direction, just not interesting things. I say my neighborhood is weird because it isn't much of a neighborhood at all. It is home to far more companies and high rise offices than residents, although that isn't to say there are not a few of Seoul's ubiquitous high rise apartments also. But Yahoo! and AIG (bastards!) are "just around the corner", along with two of the taller office towers in Seoul. My neighborhood basically ends near the rather striking World Trade Center Seoul (picture #1).

Because of so many offices, you can find a huge number of restaurants, and a huge variety of food. I know I sing the virtues of Seoul's food often, but my neighborhood offers more in the way of international cuisine, and sadly chain restaurants, than can be found in most other parts of the city. The downside being that as they cater to businessmen who probably have expense accounts, restaurants can be expensive in my area. Actually, the area immediately around my house has many larger restaurants, and a rather freakish number of Italian places, along with burger houses, coffee shops, and a belgium bar. It doesn't feel as "Korean" as other neighborhoods I visit, because rather than a real neighborhood it is merely a collection of "services" (unfortunately, that covers as much ground as the quotes imply) for businessman.

The lack of distinctiveness is why I hated my neighborhood for several months. It's that horrible abroad feeling when you find yourself in an area absent of local color, and you could be anywhere. Many places in Britain, including some parts of London, are like this, so I have come across this before. Of course, that is a slight exaggeration, but if you just pass through on occasion- as I tried to do- it can feel that way. My neighborhood is of course brimming with Korean restaurants, some quite cheap and many offering traditional on the floor seating. The funny thing is, the better I get to know it, the more Korean it feels- not in a homey and comfortable sort of way, but as a way for me to peek into the business world in Korea, and some of you know that since I have only been a teacher, the world of business for me carries rich connotations it probably doesn't deserve. I guess even that is something in favor of my neighborhood- since it doesn't feel like a private neighborhood, I am able to observe my surroundings more carefully.

Also, my neighborhood is very convenient for work, it is close enough to where Jenny lives, and there is a huge shopping center that includes a 16 screen cinema and possibly every American fast food outlet in Korea if I am sick of eating good food. But it is FAR from most acceptable meeting points on weekends, and perhaps on almost the direct opposite side of Seoul to the best nightlife in the city. To get to the city center, it is at least one subway line change and 45 minutes. And remember, the Seoul subway is fast and efficient. Big place. I guess during the good weather it was useful as it is very near the '88 Olympic stadiums, 1 of which is still Seoul's main baseball stadium. Come to think of it, several months ago now when we went to our last baseball game, I won a car rental and then we had some dinner and drinks relatively close to home; that may in fact may be the actual night that my feelings towards my 'hood began to warm again. My subway line is even expanding so that I will be able to connect to other parts of the city faster, but the extension cannot come fast enough!

The outer limit of my neighborhood offers a hidden gem, and it's one of the few things in Seoul I know about that most others don't. That is major plus points for this neck of the woods. There is a wonderful, free creative design space called the Kring that hosts unusual exhibitions and has perhaps the cheapest coffee in Seoul (2,000 won!). It also has an independent cinema that shows wonderful old and new European and Asian cinema, sadly without English subtitles, but that didn't stop me from giving Los Amantes del Circulo Polar a try there. See that movie by the way!

I know it's easy to say that there are some great things about my neighborhood and some drawbacks, just like anywhere, but I guess my point is that I have learned that my neighborhood could not be just anywhere; it could only be in Seoul, and only in Gangnam. My feelings are more nuanced as time passes. Here's a fun fact I should have worked in somewhere more carefully- the main thoroughfare near my house, which is home to the aforementioned multinationals like Yahoo! and AIG and countless others, is named Tehranno. As in the city of Tehran. I was told that the street was named after the capital to symbolize the friendship between the two countries. I'm guessing this was the '70s, as apparently this gargantuan street was much smaller then. I wonder if Washington, DC street is some dark alley forgotten somewhere in the labyrinth of Seoul. Wouldn't surprise me...

on Seoul... further reflections

Fall has arrived, and the recent beautiful weather has encouraged me to take in some new adventures in Seoul. I have been busy for several weeks wandering through parks along the riverside, dining in all manner of delicious restaurants, and generally trying to make the most of this time before the cold, and the dark. (Although the dark is going to be much less of a problem in the winter than in recent years. Yay!) In short, I am feeling invigorated by Seoul. I have as a consequence been writing more- writing outside my blog, but nonetheless writing more- reading more, and drinking loads more coffee in order to do more.


I guess between my birthday and Busan, September felt like a busy travel month, and it was strange for October to arrive and have no foreseeable travel plans in the future. This is an entirely new feeling for me, one that I am not altogether comfortable with. Having said that, spending all this time in Seoul has brought out the better aspects of my city, and given me some time to reflect on it.


I think in my very first posting, I compared Seoul to Dallas. If you've never heard of my lost weekend in Dallas, this was not meant as a compliment. However, as the months have worn on I have been unable to move past this comparison. My recent travels within my own city (what a joyous sentence that is- how many people live in a city big enough that traveling around it can feel like a mini-holiday?) have caused me to amend this comparison. Seoul is like Dallas, or rather I should say Dallas is like Seoul. I mentioned previously the slogan "hi Seoul! Seoul of Asia." My new nomination is "Seoul- what Dallas aspires to be!" Dallas is a massive American megacity aspiring to be regionally significant. It is tall, grey, and sprawling. It is most famous for food, drink, and sports. Seoul is a regionally significant megacity that is becoming more globalized. And the food and drink! Seoul has an eating and drinking (in the imbibing sense) culture that exceeds almost anyplace I have visited. On almost any corner in Seoul, you can find the most amazing meat that you grill yourself while being offered unlimited quantities of fresh vegetables. I had the most amazing pork neck- so tender and with almost no fat, which is occasionally the negative of Korean meat- for about 8 USD recently. The restaurant is open air, so as to allow the smoke to escape, and also the amazing smells. I was a little hungry when I sat down, I was starving by the time we ordered, having smelled what was cooking (literally!) at the next table over. There is so much more to Korean cuisine than grilled meat, however I must admit I have not ventured into other dishes enough.


Seoul is not as grey and grim as made out; it is not green enough, true, but it has made strides in recent years and is getting better. Like New York, it has an ambitious riverside reclamation project, which I believe will turn the whole riverside into a long park on both sides of the river. And the sort of out-of-the-way Olympic park will soon be better linked to the rest of the city by the still expanding new subway line. After 8 months, when I hear about projects in Seoul, I generally just shrug and wonder when they will be completed. This is not out of apathy, it is just a general acceptance that Korean ambition will see the project quickly through, whereas in too many other cities ambitious urban plans seemingly are never set in motion. For another NYC parallel, how about the oft-discussed Freedom Tower? Seoul isn't there yet, but it is an increasingly prosperous and perhaps influential global city. Dallas may have its new alien spacecraft billion dollar stadium, but Seoul has the impressive world cup stadium, and its Olympic legacy is largely intact. I guess Dallas still has the sporting edge, but perhaps that is due to the more varied pursuits of Seoul- more galleries, more independent shops (as a man, is it ok to observe that Seoul seems to have more cool little independent clothing stores and designers than I have ever seen it given credit for?)

I think I intended this to be a fuller blog, and to explore more Seoul/Dallas parallels. I should explore how youthful Seoul is (I'm not going to bother looking it up, but I think I read somewhere that there are 44 universities in Seoul). When my friends visited, after spending several days in the nightlife centers, they had the shocking realization that there are NO old people in Seoul. Apart from Adjummas, that is, but that is a whole other entry, if not a serious sociological treatise. I digress... I should also explore Seoul's creative use of urban space, but I'm no expert and maybe this is dragging.

But I suppose all that can be saved with a simple sentence- I am feeling more excited to be living in Seoul, and feel a much greater sense of civic pride than I did upon arriving, really than I did a month ago. I certainly don't feel like an insider- I could not begin to set a story in Seoul, but I feel like I am gaining something intangible from this tangled, sprawling urban swirl.

on Busan

It is something of a guidebook cliche to use a phrase like "in order to understand ________ (insert country), you must visit ___________." Usually this sentence refers to some sort of ancient cultural site that is supposed to offer some insight into something resembling "national character". If you embark on such a visit, you usually see some old things, and... lots of tourists. So here is my risky preamble- if you want to understand Korea, you must visit Busan.

Busan is Korea's second city, a phrase that for me conjures up London-Birmingham/Manchester or Paris-Lyon/Marseille. In other words, leaving the rather glamourous capital for a pleasant provincial city that makes for a very pleasant weekend break. This is what I thought about Busan, and what I would guess many foreigners think as they board the KTX in Seoul station (more on this later). To imagine Busan this way is madly incorrect. Busan is a city of 3.5 million people- the city itself, not the suburbs and exurbs and whatever burbs have been created in America recently. 3.5 million- that is around the population of Berlin. Not exactly a place you can get to know in a weekend.

So Busan is bigger than I think most people expect. Why does it hold the key to understanding Korea? You'll note I said you must visit Busan to understand Korea. I mean to ponderously include several aspects of the visit, including the departure from Seoul, in order to reflect on Korea. It starts with the aforementioned train journey. Bear with me. Leaving my home in Seoul, which is relatively central and home to such multinational corporations as Yahoo! and AIG, it takes just under an hour by subway to get to Seoul station. One hour! This is not due to poor connectivity or a lousy subway system; the subway is modern and efficient, and most crucially, frequent and on time. It is due solely to the scale of Seoul. Koreans built this megacity from ruins 50 years ago, and now depending on which statistics you use, it is perhaps the 4th largest urban area in the world. And Seoul connects to Busan by the aforementioned KTX, the 300 k.p.h. train that puts you in the far corner of the peninsula in just 3 hours. Seoul has a rather cheesy slogan you can find in many parts of the city- Hi Seoul! Soul of Asia. I think a better slogan would be Korea: ruthlessly modernizing. But perhaps not everyone would find that so whimsical and positive.

Jenny and I arrived in Busan and I was informed our resort was about 40 minutes away by bus. This was my first wake up call that I would need to reassess what "Korea's second city" meant. We arrived at a 32 story gorgeous resort that had sweeping views of Busan's famous bridge, and... the other high rise apartments in the area, even newer than our resort and some positively dwarfing our building. Jenny (who is from Busan, for those few who didn't know) casually mentioned that the entire resort/apartment community didn't exist when she was young, that it had sprung up more or less in the last 10 years or so.

Imagine, all this was flat 20 years ago! Korea's ability to construct, and construct quickly, is astonishing. People who live in just a few places on earth- Shanghai for one, can fully grasp what it means that your city/country has COMPLETELY changed in the past 30-40 years.

Here is some trivia for all New York loving Yanks (my hand is in the air!). Where is the world's largest department store? You must have sensibly guessed Busan, which is the right answer. Macy's, an entire CITY BLOCK, has been eclipsed by a department store that I would say few outside of Korea have even heard of.

Busan is of course a port city, and in fact its shipbuilding was one of the early engines of Korean economic growth. I have visited some big ports like Barcelona and San Francisco, but the scale of activity in Busan was shocking. Dozens of boats moved through the near harbour. However, the harbour also proved the impetus for the realization that Korea is not all modern, modern, modern! There were a huge number of moderately sized, what I would assume were local, fishing boats. Giant container boats and smaller local moving through the same (relatively) small area made for a stark contrast.

The local fishing boats make a good jumping off point to consider some other reasons why understanding Busan is so essential to understanding Korea. For all its sweeping modernity, Korea has another side. We went to the wild Busan fish market, where perhaps every living thing found in the ocean is for sale to eat. I saw a woman wrestling with an octopus latching onto everything possible, including her, to avoid being gutted while still living (the woman one, as anyone who has come across an ajumma knew already). We passed by this meat:

Some may have guessed- that is shark meat. The bloody severed shark heads, far from being discreetly discarded, are about 6 inches in front of my feet as I take this picture. I'll spare you the "Jaws" esque photograph this time. Traditional markets have become so in vogue, and in many places like New York and London, so upscale that people flock to them to gape and sample as much as do any real purchasing. Not so in Busan, where this market has probably always been famous and will continue to be for simply offering what people expect: a huge variety of seafood freshly caught.

Not only that, but you can find restaurants in Busan that allow you to pick your (living) catch, and they slice it up for you to eat, sashimi style. I think some sort of health and safety regulations would scupper an idea like that in America or Britain, but it has no doubt been done very well for years here and they will continue in this way. So Busan, and indeed Seoul, provide some glimpses of traditional Korea that perhaps cities like London and New York no longer offer when thinking about England and America.

And all of this restless modernity I mentioned earlier is not exactly a finished product, either. Busan has only three subway lines, shocking for a city of that size in Europe or Japan/Korea, although geography plays a part in that, as Busan sprawls along a meandering coastline. And (slightly off topic) Seoul is without a direct rail link between the main international airport and the city center- normal for us yanks, but very poor form pretty much anywhere else on the planet, especially considering Incheon (Seoul) airport was recently named the world's best. So a weekend excursion between Seoul and Busan offers the best and worst of modern Korea- efficient subway snarled by an inhumanely large scale city, ultramodern rail travel, modern high rise apartments, traditional markets, an "anything goes" food culture that would certainly make many westerners squirm... and much more I'm sure.

on writing well

This is a blog of necessity rather than pleasure; I have been falling out of the writing habit recently, and that is dangerous ground for me. Struggling to write a blog, which by its very nature is self-indulgent, is a bad sign for someone trying to branch out into wider writing. If I can't selfishly write about my own thoughts and opinions, how will I possibly be able to create something new in my imagination?

I hope that one of the problems that all young writers (and I am a young writer, despite my recent unfortunate birthday) experience is the fear of being boring. I know I have a writing style, and I know it needs a great deal of further development. I have recently grudgingly accepted that this requires writing. Sounds so obvious, doesn't it? But it is very easy to indulge the notion that critical reading can be as beneficial to a writer as pounding the keyboard. I am reading two frustrating books at the moment- enjoyable, well written, flawed books. For example, one is by Erik Larson, who wrote the must-read, absolutely amazing The Devil in the White City. That book (it's nonfiction, but the most exciting nonfiction I have ever read) juxtaposes the story of Daniel H. Burnham's architectural achievements with the story of the gruesome murderer Dr. Holmes as their lives strangely intersect in late 19th century America. His newer book that I am currently reading? It juxtaposes the scientific achievements of Guglielmo Marconi with the story of an unlikely murderer around the turn of the 20th century. Wonderfully gripping stuff, but perhaps you can see my frustration. I enjoy this book without being in awe of it. Yet I am awed by the prospect of writing myself. Larson certainly has his niche, but I don't. I don't even really want to be the sort of writer who falls into an easy niche, and yet I strongly feel the need to find a fixed voice. Sometimes I wonder with each new place, each new adventure, if I don't set myself farther from an axis that would help define a voice.

I seek a voice, yet I suppose almost all of you who actually read these things know that perhaps my favorite word is "polymath". I admire writers who succeed in multiple formats, such as Tim Parks and Orhan Pamuk. I believe I could develop along these lines, and yet the authors who absolutely floor me do not follow this style. They write works with an authoritative voice that could only be theirs. Anyone who has struggled through one of my favorites, Blood Meridian, should understand exactly what I mean. And it should probably be noted that for all his considerable talents Pamuk could not be anything other than a Turkish intellectual. Saramago would not be Saramago were he not a self exiled Portuguese communist. The authors who really floor me, Saramago for one, Roberto Calasso for another, have an absolute command of their unique and authoritative voice. I have tried to write in London and New York; I am unable to do so. I know the neighborhoods, I can create the people and visualize actions, but the crucial element of authenticity is missing. I have lost touch with the midwest; where does that leave me? Struggling to write!

Back to boring again. You'll have to trust me, but here is a little exercise I just did. I took the book next to me on my desk and opened it to a random page and read the first sentences that I saw. Here they are: "She looked at me, and I raised my hands in a gesture that said, You're on your own, kid. I got off the bike and joined her on the road." (author's italics). It's a pretty ordinary, boring sentence. There's a story there, sure, but the two sentences are almost bland. They come from a 900 page book, which is no doubt filled with thousands of such sentences. Yet somehow this collection becomes an idiosyncratic voice, one that can sustain a LONG story. It's tough as a writer to look over a few paragraphs, or a few thousand words, and not feel that no one would ever want to read what you have written. A few sentences perhaps, maybe a punchline of sorts. But the whole thing? Inconceivable!

I should come out of this reflecting on what it is that I do know. I suppose you could say, rather optimistically, that my voice is currently "happy uncertainty." That sounds better than "frustrated and empty." Perhaps one day a critic will note that the lack of place in my writing gives it an everyman quality. Maybe that's my problem- my literary mind seeks to completely reject my most available strength- diversity of experience. Perhaps, for an uncertain optimist, that rejection can be the impetus to real growth...

on identity

Turning 30 has certainly brought out my reflective side, but I have been unable thus far to channel my myriad thoughts into a single cohesive direction. This is actually attempt number 4...

Tim Parks, in one of his many wonderful essays, wrote that if he had to choose a phrase whose meaning has eroded in Western society, he would opt for "figure of authority". As a teacher I can easily agree with this notion, but recent events have prompted me to reflect "public discourse" might be the best example of a lost phrase. Watching footage of a Congressman being lionized (by, it must be said, a small but vocal frightened minority) for denouncing the president during a speech fills me with great sadness. It's amazing how many people agree that health care needs to be reformed and yet a shockingly ill informed minority might be able to scupper the whole thing, and affect Obama's entire presidency in the process. How can one logically hold discourse with those comparing the president to Hitler, and ignorantly lumping facism, socialism, and communism into one -ism group? I recently read Obama has been criticised by the right for appointing czars. We don't have czars in America! Or perhaps more colloquially, "We ain't got no t-sars in 'Merica. Bless." The first president to appoint a czar was none other than that liberal icon, Ronald Reagan. Facts have no place in an irrational rant.

It fills me with a sense of dread to think that I may, in 18 months time, be returning to an America where a fading majority (old and white) cling to power through deceit and fear mongering. I first went abroad, to Europe, in the spring following 9/11. The outpouring of support and goodwill was palpable toward America at that time. I was proud to be an American. I can no longer say that. I am American, and remain hopeful that my country can once again lead, but my feelings toward my home for the first 22 years of my life have become shockingly ambivalent.

Perhaps another eroding phrase is "national character". As society fragments and more and more niche interests erode the cultural mainstream, perhaps it is inevitable that a word like "American" or "British" loses its past connotations. I would have lamented this 10 years ago, but now I feel that if that is what it takes to be progressive and dynamic, 2 words that certainly applied to the America of 100 years ago, so be it. America has become nothing more than the easiest country for me to call my home, not the country that I dream of returning to.

I have always seen some value in reflecting on the names we give ourselves. I mean names that define us, like "teacher" or "son" or "reader". For me, I think "American" might have been supplanted by "Anglophile" and then "Europhile". This was justifiable when I lived in Europe, and even to a certain extent I could cling to this as nostalgia during my time in New York. But it has been more than a year since I could identify myself at least as living on the European continent. So where does that leave me now, a Europhile socialist American living in Asia for the next 18 months or so? No doubt that sentence would leave me condemned and discarded by certain segments of America, although it must be said welcomed by others who share similar views to my own.

America has been a stepping stone for me and given me access to places and wonderful memories I would not have dreamed of ten years ago. It is a place I have fond memories of and can see myself living in the future. Why does this leave me, an American, with a feelings of moroseness, frustration, and antipathy?...

on work (but not really)...

Oh yeah. I moved to Korea because there was a job here, a job I hoped would be a good one for a year and offer some new experiences. I think I have mentioned before that Korea has greatly exceeded all of my somewhat cautious expectations. I have a good job teaching mostly engaged students. There are a few things that bother me- I wish I could communicate with more colleagues at school. Hell, I wish I could communicate with Jenny at all at school... I wish it didn't take 30 seconds more than it should to calm the class down and begin (it sounds like such a short time, but in teacher time that is an age). It is not that they are badly behaved, far from it. They are just very noisy and I am speaking in a language some of them don't quite fully grasp (to put it loosely).

Some of you not in Korea are no doubt thinking "calm them down?" They're Asian, surely they just sit there in silence listening to me extrapolating the nuances of the English language for them. But of course this is not the case. Korean teenagers are still teenagers are still teenagers, and while they are quiet and respectful during my lessons, during the 10 minute passing period they are loud, talking and texting, listening to MP3s, and arriving after the bell. Things you would never see, especially in an American school, are normal here. And my perception is the kids are more or less left to themselves during this time- not that I would understand the words, but I don't think more than once this year has a member of staff come out of their office or classroom to tell students to be quiet. What a change from England then. So for me, there is some disconnect between seeing Korean teenagers acting like "normal" teens (what teen, anywhere, is normal, I ask you...) and the silent and respectful young adults in my classroom. So this brings me to my school's festival.

Over the course of a day and a half, lessons were suspended at my school while all manner of games, competitions, performances, and other fun things took the place of the normal, staid day. It felt like a culture I belonged to, like an American school. Certainly any English readers are now confused, as schools across prisons are merely youth prisons. And although I know one teacher put in a huge amount of time to organize a successful festival, when the day finally came, it seemed like the students were running everything themselves. I have no idea if or when attendance was taken; certainly it didn't seem like all the students were present. I don't think anyone cared. For a country obsessed with testing, and one that uses what I don't feel bad calling outdated pedagogical methods, it was so strange to see students assuming leadership and being so proactive. In a strange way, although I couldn't understand a word anyone was saying, it was the day I felt most connected to my school, because the culture that day was one I understood. When a couple of very brave teachers did some amazing singing and even some outrageous dancing, and all the students clapped and cheered them on, you could have been anywhere in the world (except Britain). Students danced and sang in front of a full gym, and their peers cheered and encouraged them.

So what? I have proven Korean teenagers are not automatons, which logic would finally show anyone, no matter what sort of prejudices they might hold. I suppose this is a good example of the warmth and happiness slightly below the surface that so many Koreans have. Actually, once again, in the end, it is simpler and more personal than that. Every day, I show up on time, teach my classes, thank my students and co-teachers, and go home. I teach good lessons, plan when I must, and spend too much of my day on facebook and soccer websites and blogs. Even though I eat lunch in the staff canteen every day, most days I might as well be dining alone. But for one day, when the lights dimmed and the lessons went untaught, for that I day I was blissfully the same as my Korean colleagues, just another face in the crowd. I was normal. Just like Korean teenagers.

on Bangkok

This blog entry is my nemesis; I have been thinking about it for more than a week now, and even started it last night. I reached a whopping two sentences (fewer words than just this) before succumbing to frustration. I liked Bangkok, for a variety of I think strange and personal reasons, but somehow trying to weave my ideas into some bare description of the city fails miserably.

Bangkok is just another big city. For as long as I can remember, I have resisted this phrase. London is not Paris, and New York is far different from London, despite what many on both sides of the Atlantic seem to believe (or is it like to tell themselves?). But Bangkok, well, it did remind of Seoul. No definable center. A scattered skyline. Cheap, but slightly inefficient, public transportation (in fairness to Seoul, it is positively light years ahead of Bangkok in this area). Seemingly good restaurants in every neighborhood. So why, if Bangkok offered nothing that felt new, did I like it?

First impressions matter. I cannot understand people who don't believe this. I am on the side that you can learn a tremendous amount about a person (or city) in a very short time. Bangkok airport is airy, modern, and convenient. It was easy to get on a bus that went straight to our hotel's street, and once we got to the hotel, my regular readers know what I saw- the Manchester United Bar and Restaurant of Thailand. How could I not be happy? Also, Jenny and I had agreed before we arrived on a loose itinerary. It pretty much consisted of Thai massages every day for her, shopping for some bargains, indulging in one temple for my curiosity, and finding good food. A very simple three and a half days, and of course we must avoid swine flu and watch the season kick off in the United bar. In long (I was going to say short but that wasn't), after busying ourselves and getting too little sleep in Vietnam, Bangkok was going to be about indulgence. So my travel partner and I were in agreement and stuck to this. Also important.

And we did eat well, if not always cheaply. I found some very cool original T-shirts (being that I am the poster child for Stuff White People Like, of course finding bargain shirts in Thailand is important to me...) and Jenny bought some cheap, fashionable clothing. We had hour long massages together and even visited two amazing temples- they were right across the river from each other. Convenient for tourists- way to think WAY ahead Bangkok. Even a couple of people, perhaps inevitably, trying to rip us off couldn't dampen our mood.

Perhaps our most memorable experience was drinks at sunset on the roof of the Banyan Tree hotel- I love posh hotels; perhaps a morbid fascination with what I cannot have. I similarly crave a Swiss watch. But I believe our most memorable experience was the low point of Bangkok. The famous Kho San Road. The meeting point for seemingly every young English speaking backpacker in all Asia. Expat hang out street. We have a similar street/neighbourhood in Seoul, but Itaewon is more nuanced than this street. Jenny and I hated it, even though we gave it a look and were so thirsty we sat in a horrible bar for a couple of beers. It is the sort of place any 18 year old in the world would think is the most amazing place on earth- I know I would have felt this way. And sadly, some 28 year olds, and even older, still seemed drawn to it. Why live abroad to immerse yourself with foreigners? Oh, I forgot, others who choose to live abroad are "like minded". Hogwash, or Pugwash if you will (yeah Doylie!).

I'm spending too long on a low point when I mean to simply say that our mutual revulsion at our surroundings gave us quite a laugh, and we were glad to be back in our rather more affluent hotel neighbourhood soon after. Perhaps it is smugness, but something about hating that place made me like Bangkok more. Knowing I could avoid this, as no doubt many sensible foreigners do also (a friend mentioned it in an email with some tips about Bangkok, and hated it also) gave me a frame of reference in Bangkok that I lacked in Vietnam. I understood Bangkok through the prism of Seoul, whereas in Vietnam even Bosnia and Turkey were grossly inadequate primers for the visceral nature of Hanoi. So Bangkok was quickly comfortable- I forgot, there are even Boots and loads of cheap(er than Seoul) English magazines.

This is the last blog I write in one draft; from now on they will be more polished as I've just written too many words to say I liked Bangkok because I felt comfortable and relaxed there. No more travel blogs; I have several ideas I've been shelving while trying to write this frustrating piece.

on Vietnam

I spent just seven days in Vietnam, just enough time to form some initial thoughts. I don't think I have ever heard anyone say Vietnam is not amazing; it seems to always be on people's favorite places/dream vacations lists. I found the (north) country beautiful, fascinating, cheap and a little out of my comfort zone. In short, an excellent place for a holiday. But rather than extol its virtues I am going to attempt to examine why it is praised more carefully, as there are certain aspects of Vietnam that go unmentioned by any Lonely Planet or whatever your guidebook of choice might be.

Vietnam is a beautiful country, although Hanoi is FAR from a beautiful city. A fascinating one, although not a particularly diverting one. It is also boiling hot in August and lacks any form of efficient transport. Even walking the crowded streets is quite an adventure. But the beauty of Vietnam- I have been trying to carefully consider this. Vietnam has what I can perhaps coin as "accessible beauty". Much of Hanoi's tourist revenue seems to be based around getting you out of Hanoi. A Ha Long Bay trip is a must- just three hours away by bus, and you can choose one day, two day, or three day trips to give one example. There are countless booking agencies that arrange an early morning hotel pickup for everything from adventure tourism to observing ethnic minorities in their natural environment. So being a relatively small country dependent on tourism for income, a traveller has a wealth of affordable options. People simply don't do Vietnam weekend breaks; we encountered more people visiting for closer to a month than our admittedly too short seven days.

So what? I am in danger of losing my point, if I have not digressed too far already. Vietnam is beautiful because it is affordable and available, but availability seems to be the key to the perception. One of the most beautiful countries I have visited is Slovakia, another is Korea. Neither of these countries has the tourist hordes of Vietnam. And the infrastructure in these two countries does not enable people to easily see the highlights. In fact, it can be damn difficult to visit mountains, valleys and other natural wonders from the capitals. Whereas Iceland, another rising tourism star, offers almost nothing in Reykjavik during the week save escapes from the "city" into the amazing and unique countryside. So Iceland worth visiting, Slovakia is notable for the fact that Bratislava is situated ideally between Vienna and Budapest so that one (Yank) could have breakfast in Vienna, lunch in Bratislava, and be in Budapest for dinner. Hardly a journey to soak in the natural wonders, yet sadly all too common with certain tourist sets. I guess a simple point- Vietnam may indeed be "beautiful", but so are so many other places; Vietnam is just easier.

And I mentioned hordes of tourists earlier. So the opportunity exists, whether alone or with others, to meet "like minded" people. More and more, I have come to abhor this phrase. Fun people, people who like you are traveling in a foreign country, and generally for the young this means a foreigner rather than a local, you can meet plenty of people. But if I say somewhat immodestly that I have had more opportunities to travel than most, I would put the number of "like minded" people I have encountered in these circumstances at around three. (I have considered the possibility that I'm so weird there just aren't that many people like me around, but quickly discarded that idea. Ludicrous.) But because you get on a boat to party, swim and see sights for three days with people who are on the boat for the same reasons, an artificial bond is created. So another feather in Vietnam's cap- it brings "like minded" foreigners together.

I do not mean to disparage Vietnam; I had a good time there and would like to return. But I think people reflect too little on what exactly they encounter in places like Vietnam- it is a shockingly different culture, up close and personal, but with a tremendous amount of personal safety and freedom. The poverty of Vietnam, which I have neglected to mention, is there to see, not experience. Perhaps at long last this is the crux of my blog- Vietnam is a country to see and enjoy, not experience. Is it such a bad thing to see, to photograph, to enjoy in its cheapness without really considering the place itself? I don't really have an answer (I think more than anything else this is the recurring theme of my blog- I have no answers). I would say that only a discerning few (not including myself in this case) leave Vietnam more deeply aware of its cultures and traditions, of its politics and history. This is in spite of English being fairly readily spoken.

One thing I must note- Ha Long Bay is not simply beautiful, it is quite possibly the most beautiful place on earth I have visited. This is in spite of less than perfect (though far from bad) weather. So does seeing this wonder justify considering Vietnam to be "amazing", to be more incredible than a Slovakia or a Korea? Of course, I have no idea about that...

on anticipation

Tomorrow morning I am off to Vietnam! I have, as usual, done almost no research about Hanoi- if it wasn't for Jenny I would have been completely unaware of the existence of Halong Bay, which I anticipate will be the highlight of the trip. It's a strange time, the day before a trip. There are last minute purchases to be made, papers to be printed, things to be double checked. It's generally busy, and I am usually quite the fan of heading for a big night out before heading out on an adventure. Although as I get older and had once midadventure in Sweden and a close call in London last year, perhaps it is better to just relax. But time seems to crawl by once the last minute things have been done. I should be savouring these final moments of tranquility alone; instead my mind wanders toward the more mundane aspects of the trip.

For the record, I am more excited about this trip than any I have taken in the last four years, save my for ill fated New York misadventure. I feel like I did when I took my first trip onto the European continent. And like that trip, place doesn't matter so much. I could be going to Shanghai, Chiang Mai, Malaysia or the Phillipines and I would feel the same. Vietnam and Thailand happened to just offer convenient (for the most part) and cheap flights. Probably no one who reads this knows or would remember, but my first European foray- the whole grand continent at my doorstep, and where did I go? My cheap flights were booked in and out of Turin! Turin (which I loved) and Genoa- how hilarious in hindsight. The trip did end up including two more famous and amazing places- Florence and Cinque Terre, but that was not planned at the start...

Excited but also so aware of the aspects of travel that are often forgetten during the mouth watering days beforehand, and more often than not ignored when reflecting on the trip and posting photos on facebook. Things like a terrible airport breakfast after a LONG bus ride at 7 am tomorrow. The possibility of a delayed flight, and the question of the quality of our accomodation in Hanoi, although we did follow a friend's rec who was there just a short time ago. Thinking about things like the aching minutes between actually landing on the runway and being able to explore the city- 10 minutes or more to taxi, five minutes to deplane, at least 15 minutes for my visa/passport control... you get the idea. Travel is rightly thought of as one of the most rewarding things we can do, but so much of it is the idea of travel, rather than the reality. I'm almost blatantly ripping off Alain de Botton on this point, and anyone who wants to read something wonderful and insightful explaing travel far more eloquently than I ever could MUST read The Art of Travel. I dislike the word valuable to describe nonfiction, but in this case it applies.

Oh yeah, and it's about 40 degrees in these countries right now. That's celsius people. Not pleasant. Yet despite all this, I remain Andy Dufrense when traveling. I hope. Or rather more accurately, I believe. I believe something is to be gained from travel; it is not just a time to turn off your brain and sit numbing yourself on the beach. (Note: when I am fifty or have small children, I may feel entirely different about that statement.) But for now, I look to travel for stimulation that is not present in my daily life, even if my daily life is already abroad. And off the top of my head, I can think of three absolutely perfect experiences I have had while traveling. Those alone are worth the thousands of dollars, pounds, kroner and now won I have flushed away through my twenties (but what twenties they have been... 30s, you already have a TON of catching up to do...)

So is a reason travel is so wonderful is that I can feel in a matter of minutes while reflecting nervous, excited, bored, creative, hopeful, worried and nostalgic before I have even left. What other thing that we do (I don't intend to compare this to things like family memories or the birth of a child or anything) gives us not only satisfaction, but a whole range of emotions and perhaps some greater self awareness. My feeling as I finish writing this is something else entirely. I am humbled and grateful; James is on Itunes and my thoughts happily drift to London and concerts and pushing our way to the front and dancing our asses off at the Roxy...

on the beautiful game...

The hotel reservations for Bangkok are finalized! What does this have to do with soccer? I actually pleaded and maybe even begged Jenny to stay at the hotel with the official Manchester United bar/restaurant of Thailand! (Please note: this is a four star, newly opened hotel with a pool/swim up bar, spa, sauna, etc- she is not exactly going to squalor!) First match- United v Birmingham live in Thailand! SWEEEEET! I'm not sure how well I'm going to be able to contain the exclamation points in this post, such is my excitement for the new season, regardless of the fact that I am worried this could be a down year for United. That said, I like to think I follow football as much as any crazed fan in Britain, so I need to put some predictions down to test myself. So here it is, a season preview!

United- United's midfield looks really shaky, as does the bench unless Michael Owen miraculously stays healthy all year. I don't see this happening, so unless there is some action in the still open transfer window, I think a few unnecessary points will be lost. Maybe a buy in the January window after some of this summer madness? The defense is still solid, although Van der Sar out for 2 months, at his age, is a real worry. I actually get the Manchester United channel here in Korea (apparently for the other 22 hours of the day this channel shows other programming, but I have never bothered to investigate this) and I am worried that some of my 4 am wake up calls will result in a sour mood at school, whereas except for one occasion this spring, I was tired but happy at work.

Chelsea- Looks the part of title winners/far into the champion's league. Everyone is saying the right things about the new manager, they beat some quality opposition in the preseason, and they have a favorable early schedule. Last season the Essien injury and Drogba sulking derailed the season; now that the players are a year older, are they any more adept at dealing a similar situation this year? Probably not. Did the captain's flirtation with Citeh affect the locker room? Is their goalkeeper one of the world's best, or is he a little past it?

Liverpool- Up until the sale of Alonso, mentioned as possible front runners. I don't see it. Liverpool possess arguably the two finest players in the Premiership, although one of them seems to have hamstrings that snap once a fortnight. Can they add another midfielder for depth after this sale? Can they continue their last minute goal luck from last season? Without question, this is the toughest team to place. First? Fifth? Bridesmaids again?

Arsenal- The team everybody thinks City will supplant in the top four? But why? A whole season of Arshavin, plus healthy Eduardo and Rosicky? As ever, thin in depth, but a strong strike force and seemingly a strong club spirit. I'm going out on a limb to say that they must be feeling a little "No one believes in us" at this point and feel like they have something to prove. I'm not sure if this season will finally break their trophy drought, but this team will be better than people expect, although a tough opening fixture could have the vultures circling very, very early.

City- Can they crack the top four? How many more players will they bring in before the transfer deadline? Is the manager up to the task? With the players already spoiled by lucrative salaries and expensive gifts from the owner, will they be motivated in the winter months to grind out wins? Perhaps I'm being overly conservative, as based on talent City can now compete with anyone, and their financial muscle is second to none (however, this does not mean everyone wants to play for them...). They seem to have recruited the right type of player... and I still don't see it happening. How strong is their backroom staff? Their trainers? How will high salary players cope with being rotated? Too many questions, and perhaps a slight personal loathing that prevent me from putting them higher.

Other thoughts- Tottenham have a good manager and a good squad this year, but it is Spurs. Somehow always in disarray. If they maintain a year of stability, they can match the preceeding teams on their best day. Aston Villa will be in decline through no real fault of their own, save losing two key players and not adequately replacing them. Too much competition, even for a skilled manager. Fulham will drop several places due to the improvement of other teams while they are stagnant. But it is nice not to be worried about relegation for the first time since I began following the league. There are too many candidates to easily choose who will go down, though I think Sunderland can rest easy this year as they have appointed a good manager who has bought several players. Will Burnley attain the lowest point total in history? I don't think so because of team spirit and an uncomfortable ground for visitors, but certainly on talent they lag far behind.

I get to see United in Vietnam this Sunday, and Thailand the following Sunday, taking my countries I have watched United in total to 8, I believe.

So, the final prediction:
1. Chelsea
2. Arsenal
3. United
4. Liverpool
5. City
6. Spurs
7. Everton
8. Villa
9. West Ham
10. Fulham
11. Sunderland
12. Blackburn
13. Wolves
14. Wigan
15. Bolton
16. Birmingham
17. Portsmouth
18. Stoke
19. Hull
20. Burnley

on live music

I'm back blogging with a vengeance this week, before heading off on my 'Nam and Thailand adventure. (And if you don't think my first blog after the holiday will begin, "back when I was in 'Nam...", you don't know me that well.) I have struggled with entries due to a severe case of the summer doldrums. I should explain- technically, I am on summer vacation now. But I go to work every morning, just like during the school year. I actually teach more during summer vacation than during most school days during the normal school year. All native teachers must endure 3 weeks of "camp", which for me is 2 100 minute lessons every day, from 8:20-12:00. It sounds like a dream perhaps- a four hour working day, with a free lunch provided, and mostly motivated students who actually chose (or their parents chose) to attend this class in the summer. But of course the ease of the working day seeps into other aspects of life. I stay up too late, often doing very little productive, and generally sleep the afternoon away to escape the heat, and in more than a few cases, boredom. And rather than taking the time to prepare better, more healthy meals, the heat/malaise results in my eating copious amounts of fake cheese and lots of baked potatos (with fake cheese). So when I should be healthy, active, and intellectually adventurous I am instead stuffing myself with western junk food reading every football (that's soccer people) blog on the planet. But no more! I have been reading Gladwell's Outsiders, which is an analysis of the factors that lead to people being extraordinarily successful, and although it does not measure up to his previous works, reading about such success can make someone struggling to motivate himself to do anything feel like a cretin. My actual "holiday"- as in days I am not working, is a measly 7 working days before the school year resumes in the mid-August heat.

But this blog is supposed to be about music! I was recently questioning whether music had supplanted literature as the crucial component in my leisure time and also in my identity. Due to a dearth of books in my house, as well as the ubiquitous I-Pod and a reliance on music to enliven my (occasionally) lonely flat, I think music is more "me" than literature for the first time. Certainly I actively search out new music much more than new writing in Korea; where I once ranged across all subjects for reading material, my reading is much shorter and more limited in scope- NY Times Op-Ed, Guardian sportblog, BBC transfer gossip...

I recently saw Oasis in concert, 10 years or so too late. It was a good concert, at an outdoor music festival. The location was a beautiful, if strikingly meager in altitude, ski resort. I arrived for just one day of the festival, meeting friends who had been there for "the horror" of the previous night. There were the worst sorts of foreigners on display; I'm no amateur psychologist, but someone studying herd mentality and expat communities could have a field day with large crowds of expats in Korea. Overwhelmingly young and naive, so I try not to judge too harshly, but it was like the morning after a frat party. When you are 19 and trapped in a community of like minded people this is acceptable; when you are 23-27 and abroad you look like a right... I should mention I had plenty of time to consider this as my friends left before Oasis, leaving me at a huge communal event on my own. This is actually the third time I have attended a concert on my own- the first time, I was young and hated the experience, the second time was Arcade Fire and there is a slight chance Megan Fox could have been standing next to me and I would not have noticed I was so excited (no... if Megan Fox was next to me I definitely would have noticed. So let's downgrade to, oh, I don't know, Sienna Miller). But it seemed to me that being alone in a large crowd you somewhat remove yourself from the group, that the experience gains something in intimacy, or at least in internalization. I think everyone should have be alone with their thoughts and 90 minutes of good music at some point; certainly it might have proved self relevatory for more than a few of the revellers still hiding in their festival herd.

The festival was expensive by Korean standards but on a whole worthwhile. I had an encounter with live music this past weekend that is perhaps worth holding up for comparison. I ventured to the oldest jazz club in Seoul, with Jenny this time. It was everything the festival was not- intimate, urban, shared, Korean, and cheap- I loved it. No doubt the club is one of the most positive legacies of the American presence in Korea- a smoky, slightly run down place that you would find in a basement in many sophisticated, global cities (points for Seoul! Yay!) Here it was on the third floor of a completely unremarkable building looking through floor to ceiling windows on an even more unremarkable building (OK SHOPPING in large neon) and the surprisingly dim lights of Seoul beyond. Apart from a bright Christian cross in the far left in my field of vision, Seoul was dark on a Saturday night. But inside it was cramped and lively, standing room only to a band playing good jazz as only Koreans could- perfectly rehearsed and smoothly orchestrated. Musically very proficient, but lacking in imagination and charisma. (At one point I internally compared the bassist to a librarian... perhaps it is so with bassists the world over). The only other foreigners had departed for greener pastures by about 8:30, so once again I felt a little outside of the whole experience. It was wonderful.

I've been putting off this blog because, well, I don't really have any conclusions to draw from these experiences. I should mention that my mind always wanders freely when I listen to music, when I mention feeling outside the experience, it is not a complaint, but rather an illustration of how I respond to most music- to free myself from restraints and explore possibilities. Perhaps the question I have been trying to ask is whether live music is somehow more meaningful when coupled with the experience of being abroad, of adding cultural immersion to musical immersion... Certainly my experience with Oasis was diluted by my reconciling my pleasure at the festival with the antics of more than a few yanks...

On the ugliness of Seoul

There it is- or at least one part of it. I actually like this picture- it shows a modern, busy city that appears to be thriving. But that does not make it beautiful. Notice the lack of any distinctive buildings; if you Google "Seoul skyline", you get either photos from far away or some rather drab up close shots. No landmark buildings here, just big and boxy high rises built several decades ago, for the most part. Seoul is not blessed by geography- although the Han river effectively divides the city in half, neither side of the river boasts a distinct panorama, a la London, Hong Kong (ok I'm cheating it's a bay there) and so many other metropolises. Seoul boasts... high rises. Many of them. As in apartments, usually. Seoul was rebuilt, shockingly quickly, after being considerably damaged during the Korean war. Rebuilt and expanded- where I live now (south of the river) was empty until being designated a new commercial district, perhaps 20 years ago, judging by the high rise offices surrounding me. The old adage "It's the economy, stupid" appears to have been adopted as law as roads, subways, apartments, and offices were all constructed in a drab fashion, one after another, as quickly as possible in order to boost the economy and modernize Korea. There are few parks here, and those that exist generally lack in landscaping or any ornamental beauty. This is so strange to me considering Koreans revere nature and the mountains surrounding Seoul, well the mountains anywhere in Korea I suppose.

It is rainy season here, and absolutely pouring now. Usually rain makes cities feel cleaner, perhaps a little calmer, but for me that doesn't seem to be the case here. Everything blends to shades of grey- the sky into the buildings into the streets. This photo of my neighborhood taking shortly after I arrived shows it well I think. See how few colors there are- admittedly perhaps a better camera could have done more, but it would take some real photoshopping to beautify this one...

There are a few brightspots, mostly newer buildings, in Seoul. So hope endures. But I fear they would have to completely start over (not impossible, considering the Koreans and their work ethic) in order to create any semblance of a balanced city with a high quality of urban life.

But the question is, does this matter? I'm not sure- as I have mentioned before, Seoul is a fun city. I like my job and my life here. I cope with my tiny apartment and the lack of aesthetic beauty in the city. But what would it mean if along with the fun and satisfaction I have found here the city was beautiful, like Stockholm, or architecturally interesting, like Berlin? Would it merely be the icing on the cake, or would I perceive the city differently? I think the latter. Seoul, more than any other city, feels like a series of trade offs. Terribly big but cheap public transportation. Poor air quality but nearby and accessable mountains. Several candidates for the city centre, or the "heart of the city" to use a guidebook cliche, but no place that screams "I'm in Seoul!" Or maybe even "I'm in Korea!" for that matter... These situations would still exist, were the city to beautify itself, but I can't help feeling like at least I would identify more personally with the city were this the case. I want to identify with this place, my home for at least one year, but although I have pleasant associations and happy memories in just a short time, Seoul is generally an indistinct part of this. I could have been anywhere, I just happened to be in Seoul. Place has always been important to me, and perhaps I am overly preoccupied with a connection to places, since I have for most intents and purposes abandoned places I was connected to when I was younger. Do Koreans show civic pride in Seoul, and I am just unaware of it? It certainly feels like Seoul is more of a means to an end than an end in and of itself....

Some more music links- not sure if anyone even likes these, but oh well. There is good music here if you want to check it out. This seems appropriate to a rainy day. I didn't like Fleet Foxes when I heard them last fall, and now I'm not sure why. Their album was Pitchfork's album of the year, despite no critic naming it the best album of last year...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-CEfY9CDLw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIU4A_TiGeo

on Michael Jackson and futility...

Nearly two weeks without a post- the death of Michael Jackson brought my world to a shattering halt.

Just kidding- there appear to be other reasons for my lethargy (and make no mistake, it has been lethary). But first, a little reassure that there is still some sanity left in the world- there don't appear to be large swathes of Koreans in mourning like in so many other countries. I have played his music in class before, and no students have really asked me anything or even commented to me about it. (Actual comment count: 2- including the student who broke the news to me. I then had to teach a lesson. Can you imagine?)

I can remember snickering at something from my placement agency before I left explaining the stages of life abroad to someone about to embark on the journey. You can imagine- first, the excitement. Second, getting accustomed to daily life followed by falling into a routine. I can remember reading that at three months you must deal with homesickness or frustration. As laughable as it is to generalize about something like an experience abroad, a combination of factors did lead to feelings of frustration. The booklet was right! First and foremost came a long period of inactivity at work. I won't tell you how little I did for fear of sparking resentment or a mass recruitment of people to teach in Korea. This laziness crept into my Korean studies, my reading, my writing- everything. This coincided with the onset of hot summer days; there were afternoons when I came home from work, turned on the a/c, and just took a nap. This laziness, paired with a useful I-pod (useful at shutting out the outside, for me Korean, world) had me interacting very minimally with the world around me outside of other foreign teachers.

Strangely enough, it was two separate events on what was a very lazy weekend for me that prompted this entry. The first one was a visit to a "blockbuster" visiting art exhibition, my second in Seoul. Huge western art exhibitions, coming infrequently, are hugely popular here and a strange communal experience. The crowd is overwhelmingly Korean, without about the same mix of foreigners that you see in the general population- think, in any very crowded area, a handful perhaps. There is something discongruous about processing generally familiar art (Renoir, impressionism in this case) with foreign surroundings. These exhibitions are so popular, and the concept of "timed entry" so unfamiliar to Koreans, that you actually just stand in one big line (or queue, for you pommies!) and snake around the exhibition. It is difficult to extract yourself from this, or to connect to a painting from multiple perspectives. Forget about going back to previously viewed paintings once you have the perspective of more of an artist's work. I think most people value some privacy in a gallery, some space to collect their thoughts and process what they have seen. At these massive exhibitions, it felt to me like a more communal experience than a private one. A communal experience that I was observing, rather than immersing in, as I am an outsider in this community. Which brings me to the second event of my weekend.

I was surprised this evening to find one of my favorite authors (Simon Winchester- he is wonderful!) had written a travel book about Korea. I bought it, even though it was first published 20 years ago. I hate travel writing for the most part, but I trust the quality of Winchester's writing, even if Korea has no doubt changed beyond recognition in the last 20 years. But will any of his perceptions of Korea/Koreans match my own? How much experience as a foreigner/visitor to another country can be shared and understood? Perhaps more importantly for my dwindling readers, how can useful information, sensitive reflections be conveyed? What is of interest and value to outsiders, those within and without of Korea? Why can't I simply explain an experience at a gallery to help others put their time in Korea in perspective, or allow a glimpse of Korea to those who may never even visit?

This rather rambling blog (I refuse to make 2nd drafts of blogs- the first take to long and I would probably sooner just start all over again, in fact I nearly did and just proceeded with my new idea for the next topic- on the ugliness of Seoul). Anyway, my most popular and useful section- links to people much, much more talented than myself. First, here is a wonderful short story by Simon Winchester, published in a Lonely Planet collection of all places:
http://scottmuth.com/Library/Articles/Welcome%20to%20Nowhere.pdf

And of course some music- nothing shockingly new this time. I have been listening to Sunset Rubdown's great new album, Dragonslayer, without ever realizing they were the band that sang this awesome track:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaTdM-v86fI

And a related band, Wolf Parade, is just far, far better than I realized while browsing a few of their songs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmxO1LP1vfg

Film blog: The Wrestler

The Wrestler is a well done, justly praised film. But at least for me, there is a crucial element missing. As you will see, I am going to hold the film up to a perhaps impossible standard. I think an appropriate subtitle for the film would be "An American Tragedy"- appropriate in an aspirational sense, but also I think the failure of the film.

When I saw the film shortly after Christmas, I believed the problem was that the audience could never fully come to grips with the heights from which Randy "The Ram" had fallen. Supposedly on top of the world during wrestling's 80s heyday, we only see the sad and broken man who remains, lonely and pitiful. But the trouble is not understanding the decline of the great showman, Randy the Ram. The trouble is with Randy himself.

I can remember watching the film and being unable to stop comparing Randy to King Lear. (I told you I was going to be unfair, comparing a small indie film to perhaps the greatest play ever written...) Both are stories of once great men whose relationships with family, friends and subjects (fans) are shattered by time and their own weakness. Both men do not know how to love their daughters. Both suffer ignominious deaths, although the audience is spared Randy's; we just understand it will inevitably come, sooner rather than later.

As Lear's grandeur is shattered, the audience follows him through madness and despair. He remains loved by Cordelia, Kent, and Gloucester, among others. Gloucester endures a blinding, mostly due to his enduring devotion to his King. The equivalent moment in the film is when Randy, alone and unable to deal with a "normal" job, slicing his hand in the meat slicer. Shakespeare's stage direction might have been, "exit, bereft of his dignity." Randy is just not a large enough character to inspire love or devotion from those around him- there are a few fanboys, but no friends, loves, any sustained relationship to see. Lear rages against time and fate, against torments that have seemingly been dealt to him by the fates. Randy whimpers unable to change, against a life which seems mostly of his own making, unable to connect with an ex wife, a daughter, a potential love who is as damaged as he is.

Lear dies, sadly believing he sees life in Cordelia's lips. The audience has witnessed his "blindness" and there is authentic wisdom in the play. The echoes of Ecclesiastes in an essentially pagan play create a deep and timeless resonance. The scope of Lear's universe is vast, and human. And the authentic problem for the wrestler is that Randy is too small to engender anything close to catharsis, to wisdom (for the audience, because it is so lost to himself). Perhaps The Wrestler more points toward our own culture and its 15 minutes of fame ideals. But there are smaller characters who show an audience authentic wisdom- consider the character of Andy Dufrense. And sport itself offers tragic examples, if not in the same vein as Lear than at least a more human and compelling narrative. Consider Muhammad Ali, Roberto Clemente, and Paul Gascoigne. In entertainment there is perhaps River Phoenix, Michael J. Fox... Randy the Ram makes us feel sorry for him, perhaps judge him as pathetic and unable to change. And it is this inability to change, a static character rather than a dynamic one, that ultimately causes The Wrestler to remain a piece of popular entertainment, simply a well done film rather than an iconic, monumental one.

Yeah, but what does it do?

Did my two friends have fun in Korea? Stupid question...

Thankfully, they stayed in rather nice hotels rather than on my floor, seeing as how they never made it in before 6am the whole week, and I of course had work. But they loved it here, and it is such a good feeling to have friends appreciate the city you call home, especially when they visit from my personal Mecca, London. In the end, their feelings about Seoul mirrored my own I think. What a fun, fun, fun city that is interesting and vibrant, but not exactly... sophisticated?

Hopefully that picture is worth 1000 words as I intend to say nothing further about their trip. I have been grappling with my own ideas about my blog; what exactly am I blogging for? I have already seen two benefits- I am reflecting on my time in Korea often, and I am using this writing to springboard to more imaginative work. But it is a strange thing to have readers; it is a much more difficult process than I thought to work out not only what is interesting, thoughtful, and perhaps amusing to me but to others as well. Non-writers, I imagine some of you thinking "you shouldn't give a shit about that" but you do. Or rather I do. For example, a blog I would love to write is about why the film "The Wrestler" is a failure. You'd have to be some friend to pore over my thoughts about that. I think I become more obsessed with music every year, and would love to write about that, but there are loads of great music blogs. So Korea, for those within and without? For me? Teaching? I can hear yawning already! It's just a word!

I am struck by something my mother said to me over Christmas that I dismissed at the time. I'm almost 30, and I think I am fair in judging my career so far a success. But my mother during the course of one conversation said to me, "you need a mentor." And as I sit her thinking about travel, education, culture and even a few things beyond that I feel I could learn to write about and perhaps earn a living from, I realize I do need someone to set a direction for me. Strange that this need comes much later than it did for many... so hmmm... perhaps some new topics- what it is to travel, and maybe what it is to teach. And you know what, screw it, I think I might just write that wrestler blog as well.

Or perhaps my blog is entirely too internalized for my own good- I'm just the type of person dumb enough to post what sometimes is like a journal online. Certainly it would be shorter, and easier to recap weekends in Korea. Meet Jenny. Dinner. Friends. Hongdae. Groggy. Actually, that's no fun to write or read... Stick with me and let's find out where this takes me!

Bonus! if you actually made it to the end, or just scrolled down, here is some great music I have been obsessing over. I've also been listening to the Dirty Projectors and White Rabbit and reminding myself how good Vampire Weekend's album is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXLTMCXlYbQ
such a beautiful voice... and something totally different...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrbGpvOulec&NR=1
How awesome is that for summer?

Isn't that what a blog is for?

I feel compelled to weigh in on a subject about which I am generally uninformed and also very heavily biased- at last, I understand what a blog is! The issue, familiar to some of you, is the negative perception of native English speakers (teachers) here in Korea. There seems to always be a new story in a Korean newspaper bashing foreign teachers as drunken, unprofessional, and even potentially dangerous to Korean children.

This seems to have begun some years ago when the program was in its infancy and teachers were not carefully screened; kudos to the Korean government for continuing its drive for a native speaker in every school- the initiative is a good one. Or is it like vacationing with the girlfriend- a great idea in theory, but the reality is a big mess? (Jenny: joke!)

First, my bias. I really, really like my job and I am good at it. Most, if not all, of my good friends in Korea seem to be caring and engaged teachers who like their jobs. Most of the foreigners you meet here are fairly well traveled, well educated people who are curious about the world.

But... I attended an orientation with 180 other teachers. I was of course drawn to people with similar backgrounds and interests to my own. Of that group, there were certainly some who have absolutely no business being teachers. Too many, if I can spot them over the course of a few days. And while I will maintain that most are traveled and educated (and it is a little scary that I feel compelled to use the word most, not all, and I am privately wondering if most should read "some"), the simple truth is that traveled and educated does not make you a good teacher.

I won't turn this into thoughts on what makes a good teacher; that is far too substantial a topic for a blog. Instead, what is the reasoning behind the negative perception of foreign teachers here? I can find some reasons.

1. Very few foreigners learn the language. This creates mistrust and can lead to all manner of communication problems and frustrations on both sides.

2. Some foreign teachers drink and party to absolute excess. Calling in sick with a hangover is a reality for some people here, as is being in school when you just feel absolutely awful. How many is some? I have no idea, but for teachers who are held to a different set of standards (by necessity) in a foreign country, some is probably too many for the general public's taste. And my own.

3. Teachers often eat, drink, and travel in very large, generally non inclusive (for koreans) groups. I hated Australians who were "integrated" into London this way, now I find myself teetering on the edge of this all the time. Of course, friends from a similar background form a safety net and help foreigners keep their sanity, but there really is something of a "mob" mentality here too often.

4. Too many (Yanks!) dress terribly for work! DON'T WEAR SHORTS! Iron your shirt! Guys, wear the type of shirt that actually needs to be ironed! And Yanks again, buy a shirt that fits. Baggy is out. And we live in a city of 10 million people that is dirty and full of concrete. Why the hell are you wearing flip-flops? There's no beach! Wear shoes to work! (Full disclosure: I feel flip flops, especially for men, should be banned from any city and a hefty fine levied to anyone who breaks this rule.)

5. The teachers who come to Korea are almost invariably young (at 29 I am an old man) and so relatively inexperienced- not just at teaching, but at life abroad (and sometimes life itself). But who else will take the plunge? Adventurous foreigners are what they are, here for an adventure, fun, travel, and the means to prolong that fun. That means is teaching. There is probably not much hope of moving teaching higher on the list of some people's priorities here.

I don't have any conclusions to draw from this. Are there some bad teachers here? Yes. Do their actions justify condemnation in the press of foreign teachers? No. Could there be mechanisms in place to make the whole project run better? Absolutely. (Idea one: put me in charge! Man, I need to get to grad school...) Certainly I hope the body of work that my colleagues and I do is capable of winning over students, parents, and the public that foreign teachers in schools really works. I believe foreign teachers in schools would benefit the US as well, but that's a whole other issue. But somehow, sadly, it feels like this is the status quo and the situation will remain "deadlocked" for some time, maybe always...

Falling in love?

Just a simple thought- some things large and small that I love about Korea, after 3 months.

1. Korean high school boys will tell you it is "scientific fact" that playing basketball will make you taller.

2. Koreans are genuinely pleased if you know a little of their language. Some actually feel bad because they struggle to communicate with you, in their country! Again, Koreans are some of the warmest, friendliest people I have encountered.

3. You can drive- and park- on the sidewalk. Even as a perpetual walker, I love this. I fear for my life sometimes, but it all adds to the thrill.

4. When you turn on my washing machine, it sounds like "Live and Let Die" (G n R version). When you start a wash cycle, it sounds like when you die in Super Mario 2 or 3 (don't remember which).

5. They have bowling alley style games of skill everywhere here. The difference? In Korea, you can find machines that have live lobsters as a prize. This year, Pinchy will be mine and I will walk him just like Homer Simpson.

6. Exit subway. Climb mountain. Return to subway. Awesome.

7. Free food. Not 2 days passes without some sort of yogurt, fruit, or ginseng beverage being given to staff. And food- rice cakes, pastries, pizza slices (complete with sweet potato, of course). I've lost track of how many times the school has bought me dinner. Also, lots of fruit, which is expensive here.

8. Korea is Manchester United till it dies (perhaps a poor turn of phrase given our unpredictable friends to the North...). On United matchdays, Korea looks like a checkerboard from space (red jersey, black hair).

9. Korean baseball games. The crowds never stop cheering, the cheerleaders are gorgeous, and the tickets and beer are cheap! The only way I can explain it is if Americans got ahold of the singing and shouting of a special European soccer match and ruined it with over the top piped in music and cheesy chants. Yet it's perfect...

10. Korean women are very... stylish. I think in many western countries their style (notably their footwear) may be more associated with those who work on their backs for a living, but here it seems to be sexual yet innocent, which we can all accept drives men even more wild.
Author's note: Jenny, this does not apply to you. You are stylish and beautiful and don't look like a street walker. (God, every time I write a blog something makes me fear an angry phone call...)

11. Related somewhat to that, even at high schools boys and girls generally sit separately in class. So my high school habit of staring at the beautiful girls without saying a word would have been perfectly normal in Korea- and they love standardized tests?? I was born in the wrong country...

12. Noraebang (sp?)- Korean singing room. There is something joyful, and again, innocent, about getting sojued up and then belting out some Journey with your friends. How many fights could be prevented in the UK on a Saturday by a drunken chorus of "Common People"? (are you listening, health secretary?) How many drunk drivers would put down their keys for the chance to butcher "Glory Days" in the USA (yeah, that was for you, Jud!)

This is sort of a celebratory blog, because as best I can tell by comments and emails, I have broken into double digits with 10 readers!!! So, to show my gratitude, if any of my readers bump into me this weekend and mention how much you like my blogs (my writing self esteem could always use a boost) I will buy you a drink. And if in order to do this, you have to fly from America, Europe, or Australia, I will make it two rounds!

In search of the sublime... or something.

2 friends are visiting me in Seoul in 2 weeks time. Despite (I think) both being over 30, their primary interests are booze and women. (One advantage of not even your friends reading your blog is you can comment on them without fear of repercussion. So this is for you, James and Kent.) Seoul should be the perfect city for them to visit! But I can't escape a nagging feeling that it might not be. I really like Seoul, and will try (when not working) to convey some of that enthusiasm. No doubt we will eat some good food, although no Korean bbq because James to his tragic loss is a vegetarian (good luck in Korea mate!). And we will go out, and have fun, and meet people, and drink beer, and... do all of the things that you can do anywhere in the world. And then return to my tiny apartment where there isn't even enough room for barrier pillows, and an air mattress on the floor is pushing it. Jenny, things are going to get really cozy when you are here! (At this point I have to tell my lovely girlfriend that yes, I am joking, or I will get an angry phone call soon).

I hope that we will meet some Koreans, and my friends get a glimpse of the hospitality and warmth on display here. I wonder if they will come to detest my rather soulless neighbourhood. My thoughts around their visit are entirely of baseball games, bars, booze, and birds. Perhaps theirs are as well. But I want them to find something more here, and that is proving a tall order. They are not the museum/palace/gallery type, and I would be surprised if either take any interest in a hike. (Am I making my own friends sound like horribly despicable characters? Perhaps they are, in a wonderfully clever, funny and interesting way.) A couple of neighbourhoods stand out, notably Insa-dong and the Olympic Park. Probably a late night visit to Dongdaemun market (a first for me also). At this point I will happily take suggestions from my 4 readers actually in Korea.

Don't mistake my concerns over their visit for negativity/2nd thoughts about Seoul. My friends are not proxies for me. But Seoul is definitely a city that gets under your skin (and too often on your skin, in your hair, and on your clothes!) in mostly a good, but subtle way. I don't think it offers huge pleasures for the visitor, and as much as I (with your help, Jenny) will attempt to be a "local" guide, I am still lost as to what exactly will provide them with a "wow" moment from their holiday. Perhaps nothing will. Perhaps their happiest memories will be of friends around a table, sharing beers and stories, flirting, laughing, shouting, dancing, maybe even singing. And actually, as often as I have pushed myself to take holidays to beautiful, interesting, and culturally stimulating places, maybe I've just described a perfect holiday.

God, I just totally went for a sappy, saccharine ending. What happened to the angry man who moved to Sweden (that is perhaps a blog post in itself)? I'm not really so mellow, I think I just really, really have a love/hate relationship with blogging. I started this blog over 3 times for example, and it isn't even the blog I really want to write. That would be a rant about foreigners in Korea that I should probably share only privately with a few of you. But I digress...

I have been dying to write another post for several days now, and have tried several times to rework one around the basic idea that "my imagination is freer when I am abroad because I am more stimulated and have more time to give over to to wandering thoughts." But every attempt went from smart and inventive to bland and boring very quickly. One attempt opened with blatant stereotypes of every nationality I have been exposed to for any length of time; that's probably a bad idea even with only six readers. It was at least interesting though!

So instead I am throwing down the gauntlet to myself, and perhaps to a lesser extent one or two of my readers after our conversation on Saturday. The most mundane occurence two weeks ago fired my imagination. I came up with a wonderful idea for a short story. It is still in its embryonic stages however, and so I'm going to offer up one of my favorite stories that I have written in the hope that people will read it. It's all of 700 words, so not too much time. (If tomorrow morning I have zero followers I will know I have to start from scratch with an alias). But hopefully this is the first of... let's say some.

The village of Cantiano in Italy is bordered by the Tecchie forest. An ancient Roman road becomes a well trodden path west of the village. After less than a kilometre, the road is covered by the shade of imposing beech and ash trees. The road runs straight into the forest. White truffles grow in the damps. Eagles and peregrine falcons flit across the sky, almost invisible. Gnarled roots sprawl and interweave as the road becomes a path and progressively more labyrinthine. Then it bursts into a picturesque meadow full of violets, primroses, buttercups and narcissus in full bloom.

The meadow is the sort of place to sleep away an afternoon after a picnic. I used to do just that rather often, years ago, with Monica. She knew what sort of wild mushrooms were edible and the perfect Verdicchio wine to drink with them. We used to lay in the sunshine, sometimes sleeping, sometimes reading to one another. We walked more often after she got sick, until she didn’t have the strength to go anymore. After she died, I did not go back to that field for a long time.

Today the road seems longer, and somehow colder, than I remember it being on past July mornings. Resting myself against a knotty old tree, I feel a reassuring hand under my arm. After a moment I slowly raise my gaze to Stefi’s deep brown eyes. Looking at her brings a momentary gasp. Every inch her mother’s daughter, she is long and lithe, almost a silhouette. But it is her eyes that flood me with memories. Not just picnics and lazy Sundays, but Capri, Budapest, Buenos Aires.

“Come on, papa. It’s not that much farther. Or was this exercise regimen you bragged about a lie?” She smiles and pulls me along.

“No lie. But I have been easing myself into it, just building my strength slowly.” Six months on, and I still drive for my morning coffee and newspaper. Stefi laughs, an almost childish giggle as she mentions she stopped to see Stephano before continuing home. “All it took was one smile from you and that old man told you- didn’t he?”

“A kiss on each cheek in exchange for the priceless advice to check your odometer.” Stefi locked her arm in mine and pointed ahead to a tiny patch of green visible. “We are almost there. I remember…”

I remember as well. Monica and I walking hand in hand, Stefi singing and running barefoot among the grass and flowers. I remember purple and red, yellow and white. And suddenly, in the painfully bright sunshine, it is not a memory but a canvas spread in front of me. Stefi unhooks her arm and is a girl again, somehow moving through the flowers without disturbing them. A memory, one specific memory, crushes me to the overgrown grass. It is my own voice, many years ago. It is her favourite poem. It is the past and the present interwoven, a grown woman and a little girl, a young father and an old man. Though much is taken, much abides. Warm tears slide down my cheek.

Talking the talk

I'll be honest, in 10 weeks I have learned about 10 words of Korean. There are two reasons for this, neither of which is particularly flattering. The first is that I rely too heavily on a Korean speaker being around- my girlfriend. (One would think that dating someone who speaks a language other than English would be good motivation to learn the language, but I don't seem to be wired that way.) The other reason is worse; I have to some degree accepted being a foreigner and "getting by" with English. Note: I am both publicly and privately uncomfortable with this, yet also unwilling to change what has become the status quo.

Now a generous person might be thinking, "it has only been 10 weeks." To a certain extent this is true, however after meeting many Westerners, I am still searching for one who is bilingual. Someone who reads Korean newspapers, who converses with their colleagues and friends in Korean. I have been told such people exist, and I hope they do, but they are few and far between.

Speaking I think from a distinctly American perspective, (yes I realize the irony of my needing to assert that my perspective is American, and also that the mere admission means yes, I'm not certain how "American" it really is) I believe there is a reason for this. Seoul, indeed Asia, is still more exotic than romantic in most foreigner's imaginations. It is an important distinction. Very few, I think, could see themselves in Seoul long term, calling it home. The language is exotic, the people look different, the lifestyle and culture are different. This sounds obvious, but let me turn the idea around. Suppose you were offered, I don't know, three years in Paris or Buenos Aires for work. Would you be fluent in French or Spanish by the end? I think almost everyone would say yes. I'm not a linguist, so I won't be talking about the ease of Latin based languages as opposed to Asian ones, and I think the reason people believe this is different anyway. Americans/Westerners? can see ourselves living in Paris, going to the boulangerie, the cafe. We get to know our neighbors and become local. We can see ourselves blending in, perhaps because aside from the lack of American fashion sense, we look close enough to these people. Our culture and history is closer. Our romantic idea of ourselves in these cities allows us to believe we would create a home there, a new life, a wonderful life. Because Seoul is not romantic in our imaginations but foreign and different, we perceive our time here differently. Therein lies the problem.

Perhaps some might think my bias towards Europe means I see Seoul differently, or rather others are more adept at seeing themselves here than I am. There may be something to this, but at least in an anecdotal sense, my argument holds water.

Hmmm... this became a little heavier than I intended. If any of the five people who actually read this have another perspective, I'd love to hear it.